Sunday, February 17, 2013

Holy Buses and Hula Hoops

American University of Rome

My apartment
Ok so I have this logic that you cannot get a disease from holy buses. For this to make sense to well frankly anyone but me and Amanda, a back story is required. First off I just have to point out that I live up by the Vatican and really quite far from where my university is located. I shall include pictures for reference. Secondly, you are probably asking yourself what the hell a holy bus is. Well, there are about 20 or so buses that run to/near the Vatican only on Holy Days. They are really the quickest way to get from Amanda's house or really anywhere in Rome to my house if you are lucky enough to be trying to get here on a Sunday or really any other Holy Day. That being said they are honestly the most disgusting busses there are. They have dirty fabric seats, the rails are sticky, the buses squeak and really over all it's just frightening. Ok and now for part three, which may sound a bit racist, but I promise you it is purely factual and not at all meant to be insulting (Hint:when people say that it usually means that it's going to offend someone). I live in Philippino land, Rome. There are 3 reasons for this; the Vatican is nearby, the farther from the city center you get the cheaper apartments get (genius right), and I live right by the Philippine Embassy. That being said they are usually pretty poor and quite shady and the men travel in little sketchy packs.

Ok all that being said, Amanda took a holy bus to get to my apartment today. She texts me halfway through convinced that she is going to get some disease from the bus. I informed her that it wasn't possible because it was a holy bus and they're totally immune from diseases. Yeah I know that sounds super stupid, but dont worry guys I have an explanation and its a good one too....well as good as it can get, I am blonde after all. But I digress, if you have ever been on these buses you will notice that everyone has a rosary or a crucifix and a staple of this pilgrimage is the bottle of holy water. See this all means very little to most of you, but the bottles for holy water they sell in Rome are either a)glass or b)super flimsy cheap plastic. By my logic, some percentage of these have to leak all over the bus. So clearly that combined with the amount of prayers being said on those buses equal a holy bus (literally). Therefore, one is immune from frightening diseases while riding them. Me and Amanda have discussed testing this theory by licking the floor, but we have a sad lack of volunteers and I wouldn't want to submit an animal to that fate should I prove to be wrong. Can animals get AIDS?

As for the hula hoops? It's called alliteration, oh that and I brought my 2 hula hoops with me from CA. Don't laugh it's great exercise, really works those stomach muscles and it's totally fun. For those of you sitting at home giggling and thinking of me with a pink little kiddie hoop, that is not what these are. These are legit balanced hula hoops and actually stupidly expensive.

I realize that this was all so much less interesting than alluded, but well, I'm just amusing myself writing again. As for tomorrow [dramatic pause] it's always another day. Yes that's from Gone With the Wind, I couldn't resist, but I already have tomorrows post all planned out. I'm not in a very sharing mood right now though, so I'll let you all dream of the cynicism I have planned.

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