Friday, February 22, 2013

How to shave: Italian shower edition

The shower
Trying to bend over in my shower.
If you ask any girl what the best part of winter is, any girl who answers truthfully will tell you that it is not having to shave on a daily basis. And it is the time of year where we save money on razorblades and water bills. Keeping this thought in mind please allow me to take a brief step back. I'm sure growing up you always heard that women in Europe don't shave. I am finally convinced I know why. It is bloody impossible to do in these damn European showers!!!! I have compiled photographic evidence for why this is such a dilemma.
Standing normally. Do you SEE how tiny this is?
First of my shower is in the realm 2 ft by 2 ft….for my metric friends its about 70 cm by 70 cm. If you have math issues IT'S TINY!!!! I give you proof of these issues. Ok that being said when one stands in the shower you pretty much take up the whole thing. I have attached more pictures to show you why exactly I barely fit in my shower let alone cannot bend down to shave.
The flamingo
As you will notice my head hits the doors before I can even bend all the way down to shave my ankles. And let me tell you, no one finds hairy ankles attractive. Keep that in mind girls….may come in handy someday. Right so moving right along. Me standing in my shower is difficult enough. I have to move the shower head to the size to shampoo or condition or even wash my face. The real trick is shaving in these showers though. Who needs yoga when you have legs to shave.
Trying not to die/fall out of the shower.
I have this one move I call the flamingo. One must balance their butt against one wall while wedging in with the leg not being shaved. Very carefully and without falling on one's ass (or out of the shower) one must raise the leg being shaved within reach. Now this my friends is harder than it sounds due to the fact that you have to actually sorta wedge it in there since well honestly the shower was clearly not made for hot yoga.
All I want in life is a normal shower....
Alright so now that you've almost died and probable have a cramp somewhere or really have just given up, option 2 is to open the shower doors. This is more perilous than you might think. Now there is potential for you to actually fall out of the shower. You laugh now, but I'm 6/6 on the past 6 showers I have used. (I should probably look into that) anyways. Now that we've opened the door we much once again brace and wedge while reaching forward to reach our leg. At this point if you haven't died you recollect yourself in the shower, try to stretch a little to ease up those muscles you just worked out and realize you are seriously claustrophobic. (which is obviously the best photo taking oportunity) If you have made it through this far alive you honestly deserve an award. All I can offer is skittles or wine. Maybe if we start a survivors club I'll start handing out free memberships. But this my friends is the real reason why women in Europe don't shave…..and possibly why Italians wear pants year round. 

PS Amanda pointed out a couple days ago….I'd suggest learning how to shave in your bidet. Let's be realistic, we don't even know how to use the damn thing, it might as well make itself useful.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i shave perfectly well in the shower,all i do is raise my legs up some times or i mend over,i guess its becos am tiny. and europeans do shave, well all that i have met.haha