Thursday, February 28, 2013

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries

Ok so something has been brought to my attention this week that I find quite intriguing. I have issues. Yeah yeah you can all laugh, but really I think my childhood screwed me up more than I know. Remember that whole cult thing I grew up in? Yeah well it's starting to affect my life now. In some ways I am a complete emotional baby. I was reading something Elizabeth wrote the other day about spiritually abusive situations (you can read the article here) and I realized how much truth there is in that. Here is the list of things that are signs of unhealthy boundaries:
*Telling all
*Being sexual for others, not yourself
*Being nonsexual for others, not yourself
*Going against personal values or rights in order to please others
*Not noticing or disregarding when someone else displays inappropriate boundaries
*Not noticing or disregarding when someone invades your boundaries
*Giving as much as you can for the sake of giving
*Taking as much as you can for the sake of getting
*Letting others define you
*Letting others describe your reality
*Believing others can anticipate your needs
*Believing you must anticipate others’ needs
*Practicing self-abuse (cutting yourself)
*Being deprived of food or sleep
*Being unable to separate your needs from those of others

Sound familiar? Yeah well as I realized that I'm rather inclined to trust people completely without ever blinking and it's not really a good thing. It has led to some interesting relationships and other issues. After this week I have made some new egyptian friends. Yeah yeah you can make fun of me later WHATEVER! Point being that these guys are honestly quite emotionally like myself. Everyone says Egyptian men are rather inclined to fall in love with the first person they see and honestly I'm realizing I'm quite the same way. I was never taught to say no to letting people in my life so I immediately open up to them completely. I think that that is one of the reasons now that I am so afraid of having a relationship is because I've opened up to the wrong guy so many times and I am scared of doing it again. 

Part 2 of this blog. You know those things on the internet that make fun of how girls and guys do relationships? By the end of date one the girl already knows what they are naming their kids and dog and what color their house will be. Yeah well I've discovered guys TOTALLY do the same thing. To be completely fair I've definitely already pictured the kids me and my current obsession would have, and thought about all the benefits of having another passport and stuff like that, but I think I'm going to sit back and let this one unfold on it's own.

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