Some of the worst moments in my life have been a product of this theory. I say this for multiple reasons. Blah this is all getting very convoluted very quickly, but I think I can piece this out well enough to make a sensible blog. Everyone hold on tight this post is gonna be a doozy and leave you wondering who the hell you really think you know. Yeah yeah we can talk about all of this over a beer later.
First off let me say I do not believe in premarital sex as a general rule. My mother has informed me that I have a very misinterpretable thought in a previous blog and I felt this needed clarification. I'm going to throw this interjection in here for those of you who don't know this about me, but I was raised extremely christian. This is however a completely different story for a different time. Let's just say it led to a very confused mess of teenage years and a couple of stupid boyfriends I very much regret. However, I personally have worked through my issues and now can say I have a very solid stance on the subject at this point in time. No matter how much I joke about it. *realizing I should prob not do that so much* I think the bible has very specific instruction regarding fornication and adultery. For those of you who know me yeah okay maybe I'm not exactly the christian poster child, but lets be realistic, I'd much rather you be able to relate to me and talk to me and we can talk about religion at some point in time and what we really believe and I am NOT that person that is going to hit you over the head with a bible and expect you to believe what I do. I do however believe that the Christian church in the US is madly out of control and that there is a stigma placed on a girls virginity and being these pure perfect little angels and I'm sorry that isn't life or reality. I follow this other blog and I do have to say that I've had this opinion for a while, but this article did sort of contribute to my ability to put word to the subject. Okay if you think I'm psychotic after that one go ahead and read this one too. I really am not that insane I promise. Ok right so back to the point of this paragraph I just have to throw out my apologizes for making it sound like i support sleeping around and random sex etc. However right along side that I am also going to say that if you don't believe the same as me I am not sitting here freaking out and about to disown you, because that's not be and I think that's all really just a load of crap and why the Christian church has such a bad rep in the Us at this point. All I can really say at this point is
Ok well now that we have digressed pretty much to a completely different universe let's pull back to this horrible horrible phrase that is the title of this blog. Some of my stupidest life decisions and the decisions of people I know were made based on this logic. I went through my teenage years with this logic and I never really realized how much I was hurting myself let alone everyone else around me. The first time I can think of that I applied this logic was my 10th grade year. I had just gotten my license and I was at the mall with 2 friends. They didn't have their license yet and we all wanted to go over to one of the girls houses. I said you know what its less than 2 miles why not. Ok fine I didn't get caught, nothing terrible happened, but something did happen later that made me realize what a terrible idea it really was. (Ps yes my parents did find out, I am a TERRIBLE liar and I got my car taken away for welll about a week cause the bus experiment was a mess but this is another story for another time). When I was 18 I got hit by a drunk 16 year old. I have severe spinal nerve issues and back problems at this point and when the case eventually did go to court the kids father ended up paying an extremely large amount of money out of his business because of a stupid mistake his underage son made. Honestly, I could have put my parents in the same situation and I feel really really bad about that. I'm sure I have about 8 billion examples but I can't really think of any that aren't going to piss someone off. I'm sure you're not all sitting here thinking
My point being this: (haha that makes this sound like it's actually going to be a short paragraph doesn't it) I moved to Europe because I could. And I needed to get out of a really really bad situation back in CA. Yes every part of my moving here was an attempt to run away from the patterns that were forming again in my life. I only went back to school because it was the only way I could get a visa to stay longer than 3 months and it gave me something to do. Please note I hate loathe and despise school. I am a terrible role model children please note this. I fell in love with scuba diving and really my real passion is teaching. I adore teaching diving and kids in general. At this point in time I am finally ready to make my peace with CA.
No I haven't. No I am not moving back in with my parents, I have every intention of finding my own job and getting my AA from a CC there. But as much fun as Europe has been I need a chance to be grounded and actually start my life. I'm sure more updates on that will follow. Also, at some point in the near future, possibly tonight, I will tell you all about my date last night. Epic fail does not even begin to describe it. I also think I might have gif addiction issues.....